if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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