I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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