oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
