actually, I'm a sock model
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
