I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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