i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
