New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
pray to the hookup gods
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
