Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
