Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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