How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
