Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
