Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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