i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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