im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
