Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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