I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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