I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize