So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
