Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She even gives head with a lisp.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
