Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
