Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
