Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I need water and some morals
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
