1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize
