we have pet lesbian snakes
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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