Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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