I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
