She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize
