pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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