After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Shame - the story of my life.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
