Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
