My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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