no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
