If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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