I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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