Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
