just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
