He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
