Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
