i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
