Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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