Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
