we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
