So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
