He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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