He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
