Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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