Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
