I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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