Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
