I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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