She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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