i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
They have beer where we have blood.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
