We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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