Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
a search helicopter?!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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