discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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