the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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