You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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