We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
