You smell like a Billy Joel song
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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