It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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